You just might get it!
Have you ever wanted something so badly you think about it almost every day? And then when it looks like you were going to get it, it's all you could think about?
That happened to me recently. It's funny really. A sense of time, of place. Memories relived a jillion times. Regrets...wondering what could have been done differently. Wishing for another chance to do it differently.
And then that chance appears...or so you think. Jumping in with both feet, confident in the thought that this is what you've waited for and wanted all along, only to find the the water is shallow and you've knocked your noggin on the bottom. Stars begin to swirl as the realization that this is nothing at all like the dream you had. The vision of it happening was so wonderful. The reality is a totally different thing.
So what do you do? What are the options? Well, walking away is one. Staying and adjusting expectations is another. That's hard to do when we talk about dreams. Maybe just wait and see. But wait and see what? If there is no water, there is no water. LOL You know? Why go to an empty well to get a drink?
People change over time. At least hopefully we do if we're still growing and discovering new things. Change is not a bad thing. But it can be difficult to adjust to.
I don't know if I'm disappointed or hurt or astonished. Probably a little of all. You can't hold on to things as they were. But you can embrace what is and be grateful for that. Or you can walk away once you realize the dream was just a fantasy all along. It's funny how two people can have the same experience and then see things so totally different. Maybe they weren't having the same experience in the first place.
Here's to broken dreams, broken promises, and the space they open up for new things to come.
No regrets. That's a lie. LOL But today I strive to be into acceptance of what is, not upset or sad because of what was.
I'm going to sit here with my emotions and let them pass over me, engulf me, make myself feel them and acknowledge them. And then I'm going to let them go.
JoJo
Joonie, there are no words to ease, only comfort to share. I think we have all been to this place, and as hard as it is, we have survived, learned and moved on with the knowledge that we have gained, how we apply it is up to us.
ReplyDeleteJust know that you are not alone, and if you need to talk, vent, whatever, I'm and IM away.
*hugs*
Babs
What a lovely, thoughtful post. Thanks for stopping, as you deal with your life arc, to share your thoughts with all of us.
ReplyDelete~Z
/me rubs Joonie's noggin gently, gets ice for the goose egg :)
ReplyDeleteOur minds are amazing. What they can create, anticipate, conjure up, and really come to believe, whether or not it has any basis in reality. We can want something so much, it becomes real to us.
Then to not get it after all that, or have it not meet our expectations--that just sucks. And whether or not any of it has a basis in reality, the feelings do (this is the basic conundrum of SL, imo).
I think you have the perfect way of handling it tho--no denial, just acknowledging/feeling the feelings for what they are, and then letting them go and moving on. Like a balloon going up into the sky. In so doing, you've made room for other experiences and opened yourself up to more. I always want to skip over the feeling/ackmowledging part, and that sure gums up the works!
Thanks for sharing your journey with us Joon!
Love you! xoxo
PDV
P.S. LOVING the new tunes on your stream! :)
Jo. Just an advice. Keep your emotions with you because they must be uniqiue like you are.
ReplyDeleteTr.
thanks for sharing ;) i needed to hear that today!
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone for your comments. *hugs*
ReplyDelete