What Have I Done?

Today, I quit my job. It's been coming for years. I just haven't liked what I've been doing for a long time. Square peg, round hole. So I typed up my letter of resignation and gave it to my boss.

I have worked there for 6 years. SIX YEARS! I had no intention of staying when I first got the job. But it had health insurance and dental and weekends off and all the stuff you think you're supposed to have as an "adult." It looks good on the outside, but it was slowly killing me on the inside. So, in this economy where jobs are uncertain and scarce, I quit mine.

It seemed like the right thing to do at the time! LOL

I'm feeling a shift in my life. I can't explain it. These last few years in SL has taught me so much. but I don't want to spend my life behind a computer - not in SL or in RL. So I'm making some changes as they come to me. Quitting my job feels like taking care of myself. I dunno how to explain it...I just couldn't go there anymore.

So now what? I haven't a clue. When my coworkers asked me what I was going to do, I said I honestly didn't know. I have no job lined up. No prospects. And no insurance. But it just felt like the thing I had to do. I was dreading going to work every single morning. Sunday nights were the worst...knowing what was coming.

Some may think I'm crazy and maybe I am. Some may think I just needed to grow a pair and keep going. But I've been doing that for 6 years. Enough already.

I don't know what I want to do now. But I do know that change is good. Having some time to myself will help me figure out what I want to do next. Do more things need to change in my life? What can I do to make a difference in the world?

All I know for sure is that I have experienced emotional pain like I've never thought possible in the last two years. And also, of course, some wonderful experiences. Each day I am stronger and more capable of making decisions that put me first. But it's time for me to move on and discover what I have to contribute in either or both lives. As much as it hurts to walk away completely and not look back, it's time. I must move on. I know sometimes it seems like it's 2 steps forward and 1 step back....and even at times 1 forward and 2 back. But I see the progress I've made and I know it's all going to be okay. Better than okay.

I just need to keep looking forward and not back. Back is done. Forward is still open to dreams and love and all the good things in life. And today.....today I will just concentrate on being the best me I can be.

thanks for reading....
Joonie