Interrupted

I can't not write (double negative?). There is something inside me that wants to be heard. So here I am...again. This time, I'm not going to fight the need to do this. Do you ever feel like there's an inner voice that needs expression? Perhaps that's what art is. The inner heart/body/mind needing to be heard, to be expressed. The creator must create.

I am by no means saying I am an artist and you are not. We all have a voice that needs to be heard; an artist within. Maybe not by the masses, but by whomever needs to hear it. Experience it. I think we all find what we need eventually. To borrow from an old Stones song, "...we can't always get what we want, but we get what we need." Amen to that, brother.

The new title of this blog, SL Avatar Interrupted, is how I see myself. My 'journey' or whatever you want to call it, was kidnapped for a while. I veered off course. But I learned a lot about myself. What, you might asked? Same as everyone else that's been in SL for any length of time. It's difficult to put into words. It's more of an experience, an awakening to reality.

Facing reality isn't always a fun thing to do. Especially when what is seen is not something wanted or needed. In my case, facing what the truth was for me, rather than what I wanted, was especially painful. But the rare gem that comes out of that, once I stopped the self pity and realized my pain is not any greater than anyone else's, is that there were tons of self actualization and strength on the other side.

So here I am, giving voice to the wounded, the hurt, the manipulated, the played of this brave new world called Second Life. It's really not about that at all. There's a much bigger arena than finding love. Love is still awesome, as long as it's reciprocated. I got so caught up in the need to feel loved at any cost, I lost myself in the process. No one did this to me. I did it to myself. Or I allowed this to happen to me. I believe, if my self esteem had been higher, I would have put myself first and being played would never have happened. But it did and today I am glad. I have a story to share with those of us who have been hurt there. But more than that, today I feel stronger than I ever have. My Second Life is MY Second Life. I'm not living it for anyone else but me.

And I've rediscovered Real Life. It's an amazing place.

I wish you well on your journey, both first and second. And it feels good to be back here tapping away at the keyboard. There's no telling what kind of stuff will show up here. LOL (maybe I shouldn't be on the feeds?)

Learning as I go,
Joonie