4 of 365 Impermanence

Main Entry: im·per·ma·nence
Pronunciation: \(ˌ)im-ˈpərm-nən(t)s, -ˈpər-mə-\
Function: noun
Date: 1796
: the quality or state of being impermanent


Main Entry: im·per·ma·nent
Pronunciation: \-nənt\
Function: adjective
Date: 1653
: not permanent : transient

— im·per·ma·nent·ly adverb


Main Entry: 1transient
Pronunciation: \-sh(ē-)ənt, -zē-ənt, -sē-; -zhənt, -jənt\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin transeunt-, transiens, present participle of transire to cross, pass by, from trans- + ire to go — more at issue
Date: 1599
1 a : passing especially quickly into and out of existence : transitory b : passing through or by a place with only a brief stay or sojourn
2 : affecting something or producing results beyond itself

— tran·sient·ly adverb

Recently, the impermanence of people, places, and things has been like a glaring light in my face in RL and in SL. My doggie died, friendships have ended, places have disappeared. All as it should be according to some philosophers and religions. However true that might be, and I am up for a debate, it still sux. I know many of you have lost people that have come to mean a lot to you. They have left SL for one reason or another. Some understandably so, like for RL, others we don't even know what happened. All we know is that they are no longer a part of our SLives.

What happened to Chou Chou? Where did it go? When I try to tp there, I arrive in a vacant lot in Uglyville Mainland. *cries*

But what part does acceptance play in all of this? Should we expect things to last? Especially in SL. I used to look at SL as an extension of my RL. There were people behind those gorgeous avatars. I didn't really care what they looked like as long as we had a connection and we enjoyed each other. After some time, a friendship would develop and perhaps more. I truly believed I loved these people and that some were truly my friend in the real sense of the word.

I don't feel that way 100% any more. Of all the people I have met in SL, I would say only 2 or 3 I consider my 'real' friends. Of all the places I have found in SL that have come to mean 'home' to me, only a few still stand. This impermanence is what has caused me to pull back a bit and not take people, places, and things too seriously. I have to accept that everything changes, nothing stays the same. The impermanence of all things has to be faced and accepted, especially in SL. People come and go, places come and go, misunderstandings don't get resolved, distance in RL cause relationships to end....the list goes on and on.

Out of self-preservation, I have had to learn to let go in SL. Not 100%....I care about my real friends there deeply. I miss people who have left. After a few years, I still wonder what happened to this or that person. And I feel the loss of what they brought to my SL. But, if I am open to it, there are new people, new friends, new places to see, and a new beginning for all of us. It may not look or feel like the former friends or places, but they carve their own special niche.

Today, I am working on letting go of the things that no longer feel right and embracing the new things that come along. There has to be a period in between, to regroup, lick our wounds, and grieve the loss before going forward. I'm finally ready to move forward and listen to what my heart tells me. Hope to see you out there!

As a parting thought to ponder, I will quote from a friend who wishes to remain anonymous, but if you know him at all, you'll know who it is:


Friend: I look like I just got off a horse
Friend: turns out meeting people in RL is a pain in the ass

Namaste