21 January 2009

Darkness and Light

I have lots of crazy ideas and thoughts floating around my head tonight. Some clarity...some confusion. Tonight was just one of those nights. I spent most of the evening by myself, chatting with a few friends, a few new people, and being kind of introspective. It was good for me, altho kind of difficult. Tonight, I was given the opportunity to see things clearly. And I did not like what I saw. But...it was necessary for me to see them.
I am just another avi on the grid making my way. Meeting ppl, trying to have fun when it is most difficult. I bought another new house tonight...it's a fae cottage and I love it. That's part of it in the background. I had every intention of flitting about all night like I usually do and decorating it. But instead, I decided to just chill and see....what happened. What happens when Joonie just sits and does nothing.
Tonight was one of disillusionment and seeing things as they really are. Talk is cheap, isn't it...
Yes it is. Anyone can say the words. I love you. I'm sorry. I believe in you. I am your friend.
But actions! Now that tells the true story.
I think we are all so caught up in our SLives and so deep into our own stuff that we don't notice that there are people around us that might need us. Our new Prez kinda talked about it...reaching out...taking time to look around and see who needs a kind word, a hand up, a pat on the back. I don't think a true friend would kick someone when they're down...you know?
Sometimes we need to realize how small we are in comparison to this great big world for us to realize it isn't all about us. It's about us AND them....all of us. No, I'm not going to sing kumbayah. Not in the mood for that at all. But altho I'm in my mess at the moment and truly feeling a lot of self-pity...lol...there are so many of us going through the same thing. The anger, the disappointment, the tears...mine are no different from your's.

So maybe we can take a moment out of looking hot and playing the game long enough to give each other an f'ing break, ok? No one is perfect in this thing....NO ONE. Ok ok...I'm pretty close...but still not perfect! ;-)
I guess I'm saying ...I dunno.....fool me once and shame on you, fool me twice and shame on me. But that doesn't mean we have to hate. I'm not saying give a third chance....but we need to let it go with some dignity and grace, if we can. It's very difficult. And I know they're just playing out whatever thing they need to play out. I think I'll let 'em go so they can get on with it. Just not with me.
Love ya's!
Joonie
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3 comments:

  1. The reaching out part is not appliable to SL only. It's too easy to get lost in our own little bubble... Love this entry, so much truth in it (as always :))

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  2. Joonie, I am in awe of the way you are able to cut to the core and the difficult dilemmas of human nature and how you are able to articulate it so well.

    I think you have hit on the crux of everything, in RL and SL both, and that is haivng compassion. Seeing the other person as a fellow flawed human on the journey, trying to figure it all out just like we are. Why do we tend toward defensiveness, suspicion, hating? I think it's fear, but fear of what, really? Follow it out to its logical conclusion and everything is still OK. We can't lose our souls, our selves, and that is, really, all we have.

    So if that is true, why not be kind? Reach out, as you say. Err on the side of love, give the benefit of the doubt? One place I used to work had as one of its mottos, mantras, whatever, "always assume positive intent." I hated working there but I never forgot that little gem. I try to do it, but my fear gets me...I'm working on it...

    Thank you so much for putting yourself out there and taking us with you. :D

    Love you JJ!
    xoxo
    PDV

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  3. JoonieGirl, sometimes reality totally avoids us and lets us think we are in a wonderland. Other times, reality bites us. Not too hard, but enough to let us know it is there. Then there are those times that reality pounces upon us like a tidal wave. No matter how it approaches, reality is nothing to be forsaken.

    I took one look at that first happy snappy and was like "that's my house" I loved my Fae and enjoyed it very much. Perhaps someday I will have a place to set it again and renew the love I have for it. You enjoy yours.

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