It's time for sleep but it's been a while since I've posted. I'm not in the best of
moods tonight...not in the worst either....but still not as good as I would like.
So I will keep this brief and really, I don't even know what I want to say, if
anything.
There was an interesting post on another blog...SL Revolution, I think....
that talked about being emo and how it's underrated although it gets
on people's nerves. LOL I totally agree. I have been uber emo for
several months now and I'm on my own nerves. But I just can't help
it. I mean, I try to fake it so I...well...why exactly do I do that? So
people won't judge me harshly.
It seems talking about what is really going on is looked down upon.
Better to talk like "hai" and "Hoooo" and "kthxbai" even if you're
in your 40's and pretending you're in your 20's. I dunno. See?
I shouldn't be blogging atm. hahahah...but I am! So there you have it.
Look, here's the deal. I'll say it now and try not to speak these
words again. LOL I'm sad. I'm not particularly happy atm. There
was a time when SL was so much fun. I laughed so hard every
single night surrounded by people I loved and cared about and
who I felt loved and cared about me, too.
Now...not so much. And it makes me sad. *shrug* What can
I say? I could deny it and act all "who cares" about it...but
honestly I'm not there yet. I know...this has been going on
a long time. And I have felt like I was on an emotional
roller-coaster. And...yes...it's my own damn fault.
So maybe what I'm really disillusioned with is myself. I
always considered myself a pretty smart, intelligent girl
with a kind, sensitive heart. But the longer I stay in SL
the more stupid and mean I feel. I'm so pissed right now.
So..that's me. LOL Aren't you glad I shared? ;-) Well, I
am. The only way I'm going to move on is to get this crap
out and so here it is. Just spray some lysol or light some
incense before you go. kthxbai!
Love you long time!
JJ
Awww Joonie. Emo is not good or bad, emo just is. The people who think it bad are a) jealous of people who take the risk to feel their actual feelings or b) jealous of having people/situations ot get emo over! That's my theory anyway, for what it's worth.
ReplyDeleteYou still are a " smart, intelligent girl
with a kind, sensitive heart." That is who you are and who you will always be. You are just sad and disillusioned at the moment. SL seems to do that. :(
Your sadness will pass, but until it does, be gentle with yourself, hold on to who you are at your core and let the people who love you, love you. Long time. :D
Big hugs Joonie!!
xoxo
PDV
Dear Joonie: I also had my own roller-coaster phase in SL. It was wonderful and I will remember that time forever, with You and Sorcha, and Bailey, and more others, I feel so lucky for that time!
ReplyDeleteWhat I try to say is that despite my life is also now not so exciting than in the past days, I will always remember those times like the best of my life.
Ohhh, one more thing. I consider you a quite smart, hightly intelligent girl with a kind, amazing sensitive heard.
Joonie..I hear you. Believe me..I understand what you mean. I wish I had some great advice, but I don't. Sorry. But I'm always around if you need someone to be emo to. :)
ReplyDeleteI totally know what you mean. I've been feeling like that before I left SL for good. And when I occassionally popped in world after the big leave, I nearly always logged off with the feeling that I was unneccessary in there, like the outsider that I was back in my high school days... and why would I delibaretely spend time on something that puts me back into that awful period of my life again?
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way Trouble does. SL was great at one point. SL friends were great, SLove was great, writing for a magazine was and being a photographer was great, my wedding day was great, being a kid and finding an amazing family was great... But to me it seems that the Golden Age in SL inevitably passes when one loses a certain amount of illusions, gets hurt several times, hurts the others several times, finds out enough about themself... aynd suddenly you realise it doesn't give you anything anymore. Or that it causes more negative emotions than the positive ones. I dunno... I don't even remember when was the last time I logged in, not to mention the last time I logged in and enjoyed myself. At first I had thought it would be difficult to limit it all just to occassional visits. Now I think it would be difficult to make myself go back in there. My SL has inspired me to grow a lot... but now my RL does the job :)
Oh, btw I've never used the Hoo! gesture and at times I felt stupid for speaking in an overely elaborate way :) That's part of the reason why I felt like an outsider, actually. And I don't even speak elaborately to begin with!
@Pinky - you are always so supportive of me..tysm for that!
ReplyDelete@Trouble - I find it interesing that both you and Bailey posted about your "past" time in SL and how good it was but is mostly a memory now. I miss those times with all of us, you, me, Bailey, and Sorcha. Things have come close to that time for me but have never been the same.
@Bliss - *licks you* You are so sweet and one of my bestest friends even tho we haven't spent a lot of time together lately. I think we need to shop! ;-) Thanks for being there and understanding. *hugs*
@Bailey - wow..sometimes I think we were separated at birth. LOL It sounds like this is just the natural progression of things in SL. I have been reluctant to give it up altogether. I think I walk by my pc and think of all the fun I had in there and the people in the box that mean so much to me and that SL is the only connection I have to them. I hate to walk away from them. But...maybe it's time, not so much from them as from the negative aspects of SL. It's hard to define but it's just not what it was.
And why of the 4 of us am I the only one left in there?! LOL
Hugs you all! Thanks for sharing your experience with me!
kthxbai! (i'm starting to like that!) LOL
As god as my witness Joonie I am gonna tackle you and tickle you so hard you'll pee your pants! If you're looking for fun people who make you laugh I can introduce you to some of them. I'll be doing my best to make you smile too. No one is ever a lost cause, they just get lost.
ReplyDeleteLove,
GoSpeed
kisses Go...*mwah*
ReplyDelete