Motives

Sometimes I find it difficult to know what my motivation is behind some of the actions I take. I am aware that we as human beings can be very manipulative in our efforts to get what we want. I am human and therefore, very susceptible to this form of self sabotage.

Recently, it has been brought to my attention that I have made some choices in my past that have not been the best ones for my own health and well-being. I needed to see where being selfish in some situations is not a bad thing. Especially when someone does not have your best interest at heart but is playing the game like they do. At some point, I have to pull my head out of my whatever, and, no matter how much I want to believe otherwise, face facts.

Once I am able to see clearly, I am better able to make choices that are good for me. That is not usually how I do things. Lately, tho, it has been an amazing thing and I see how looking out for myself is a very powerful thing and not selfish in a bad way at all.

So, I made some decisions and took some actions lately that have made me feel really good. Have you ever had a stalker in SL? I didn't realize I had one until someone pointed it out to me. No, I'm not dense. But emotional abuse is very subtle. And the relationship between the abused and the abuser is a very strange dance.

My friend gave me the following links, which totally amazed me. There it was in black and white. I couldn't stay in denial any longer.

Please take a moment and go to these sites. Then do what you can to put an end to it. If you don't feel like you have the strength to make the changes needed by yourself, get help. There are several places in SL that offer help. Sometimes just talking it over with a friend (I said friend, not the abuser) can help validate what we are feeling.

So tonight I made a decision that was a difficult one to make. I quit a job I've had in SL for a while now. I loved this job. But last night it became obvious to me that this person was not going to go away.

So what about motives? Well, I had to make sure I wasn't doing it out of nah nah you can't find me or if I was really doing it to protect myself. There was another concept I considered and that was, why should I leave what I love just because he can't stay away? So there's the anger and bitterness. Making a decision while feeling that way is never a good thing. And the most humiliating part for me was admiting that this is the last avenue he has and did I really want to close that door? UGH! That is my sick thinking talking. And the answer was....YES...yes I really do want to close that door. Not only close it, but bolt it shut. LOL

So I left my job in SL. I will miss it, but not as much as I will enjoy the relief of not having to stress and look over my shoulder to see who is there.

The reason I bring this up is because I never ever would have thought I would be one of those peeps that would allow some one to manipulate me. Emotional abuse can be very subtle. People think it's being screamed at or being humiliated. It can be I suppose, but in my case, it was more a manipulation of my emotions. Mind games. Saying one thing and doing another and then saying what was said was never said. It creates doubt in oneself. Very unhealthy.

If you suspect you have been emotionally abused or, having made the break you are stalked, please file an AR in SL and get support. You did not bring this on yourself and you are worth the time and energy it takes to get your life back. Don't be a victim anymore.

Thanks for reading. I hope this helps someone sooner than later.

Hugs!
JJ