In a post I wrote earlier, I shared a link to a post mainly about trust and distrust in SL. It resonated with me on a personal level, having gone down that road at some point in my SLife. I've shared those thoughts and feelings with you, my awesome readers, and many of you shared your own experiences. I appreciate that because I think those emotions are a shared experience many, many of us have had at some point. It forced me to reevaluate my time in SL and decide what it is I really want there.
Yesterday, I read another post looking at things from a totally different perspective. This person had opened up to another avatar/person in a very deep, personal way. She shares her grief concerning his RL death in this post. I instantly felt deep compassion and empathy. I tried to imagine what that must feel like. She shares her experience with talking to the family. It's a very moving post.
It made me think of the ways we all are in SL. Is it time in SL that moves us from one position to another concerning trust and mistrust? Or is it our personality types? Do some people just naturally trust more than others? I think those of us that are older than the twentysomethings may have experienced more loss. Not always, of course. Loss comes at any time. I'm just saying the longer we're here, the more opportunity for loss.
This is not a black or white issue. There are definite shades of grey. Trust is not easily given for me; it must be earned over time. I think most of us can read both posts and have them resonate with us. One questioning trust and the other experiencing loss after forming a meaningful relationship in SL, which required trust. But I don't think they are mutually exclusive.
I'd like to thank both authors for sharing their experiences. It helped me see that both can exist together, but that trust, love, and friendship are far better. But we have to work out that little issue of trust. Have to let the walls down in order to have an awesome friendship. And it takes time.
I trust we will be fearless and cautious in those endeavors. Afterall, it is our hearts that are at stake.
Thanks for reading.
JJ
Today I logged into SL, and I just randomly went to a sim that I've never been to, I met a person with a faun avatar there and although we have never met before and will never meet again, or perhaps precisely because of it, we had a very honest and very personal conversation about feelings. With a complete stranger. SL can offer a strange kind of intimacy that is impossible to find in RL... I wonder why...
ReplyDeleteB - that is one of the things I love about SL, having a connection with someone you don't know anything about. No outward appearances that might make us not talk in RL.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why...maybe in some ways it feels emotionally safer.
Joonie, another really interesting post. I went to the blog you linked to and read Salome's post. It was moving and sad. I think, though (just my opinion of course) that when you are close enough to someone that you talk to them on the phone a lot, that you are on the list of who to contact if something happens, then you are no longer just "Online" friends or "SL" friends. You are at that point RL friends.
ReplyDeleteStill, if it starts online or in SL, there are bound to be trust issues. I can't imagine being anyone but who i am online, (well, ok, my av is thinner and younger than me) but I know many people create personas to be someone they want to be on there and not who they really are. And how cool, really, that we have that possiblity. BUT, trust issues are bound to surface and I don't see how you don't get hurt by that unless you just develop a thick skin and say it doesn't matter. I work with a lot of 18 19 and 20 year olds. Almost their whole social life is online...they have never known a world where friendship was only RL. I wonder if trust is ever an issue for them??
Thanks for the thought provoking post Joonie. You always make me think.
Love you!
xoxo,
PDV