All Good Things

So the last few posts have been on the silly side. I love doing them and

I hope you enjoy them. I was hoping this pic would speak to me somehow. I really like it,

and I think I look good here! LOL But there's something behind those eyes. I can't quite grasp what it is. At first thought it might be sadness...but I don't think so. I think it might be a hint of anger. There seems to be a cold steel in the blue.

I was talking to a good friend tonight, well several actually...and had some really good convos. We are all on such different journeys in life and in SLife. If we're lucky, we meet kindred spirits and we get to travel together for a while.

Nope, not going there tonight. Can't get all philosophical and emo...I've been doing so good lately!

LOL

I think sometimes people think I'm cold. heartless. mean. uncaring. Because of the way I do things. When I'm done, I'm done. When it's over, it's over. I don't see the point in dragging it on and on and on. That's not exactly true either. Bear with me folks..I'm working some stuff out here. See, I will hang on to someone long after they've moved on. It sux. But I hate saying goodbye. But this is the part that I think confuses ppl. I give the impression that I will take them back over and over again because...well...I do! I want it to work. I don't like emotional pain...none of us do...so I want to go down every single avenue, exhaust every possibility before calling it quits.

BUT....when I finally realize that it's over, and I'm stubborn and hard-headed so it may take a while, it's over. O V E R over. I usually will mute and ban and that's that. Before that point, you can bet I have cried a million tears, hoped a million hopes, and believed in the love that was once there until the last second. If I love you, I love you with everything I have.

But once I realize it is not appreciated or reciprocated....that's it. And it might come out of the blue. I never know. I just all of sudden know that I've done my best and I've done all I can do.

I walk away and I don't look back.

But...I still remember. And altho the days between tears grow longer and longer..there will always be those days that they fall without warning, down my cheek.

Years from now, I will still remember .... and be sad.

I wish you....all good things.

Nite

JJ

I Just Couldn't Take it Anymore!

All I wanted was for you to love me! Why couldn't you? I begged you...promised I would
change but NO...you chose her! HER! Of all people. You said it was over between you...
but I knew better.

I've tried to move on...to find other things to keep me busy..to occupy my time but
all I do is think of you and our love. Or was it just MY love....my love...does it good...
oh..
I mean...right...where was I..
um..oh....so tonight I finally realized that my slife is over without you.
It has no meaning any longer without
YOU YOU
YOU!
(it always was all about YOU)
So while hunting for those damned transparent eggs...I saw the perfect chance
to end it all and finally have some peace...
Goodbye cruel world! Maybe now you'll realize how much you....
**SPLAT**




OOpie...what a mess!
LOL

Luckily it just left minor scratches ... nothing fatal.
We don't die in SL, we just reincarnate into another avi or
tough it out and live with our choices.

Either way, whereve we go, there we are!

Nini!
Hope you enjoyed!
JJ

To Whomever You Are.....

Hello. I'd like to introduce myself. I'm Joonie. My friends say you're out
there somewhere. I'm going to prove them wrong. But just in case you are crazy enough
to challenge me, I thought it only best to tell you a few things.



I am challenging, to say the least. I don't think there's a man
out there that can handle me. And I usually know within the first few mins of
talking. Sometimes, they put on the "strong male" persona and it might
take me a little longer. But I'll know. And I'll break you down. Yes, I will.

You see, there is not a man alive strong enough to handle me.
It might take days as in the last little guy that tried, or it could take
months as is the case with one of my exes. But I will eventually bring you
to your knees and make you cry.
That's when I get bored.

So for the sake of all male egos...just keep on walking. I'm not interested.
The world, both of them, is filled with wonderful men. They make very
nice friends....or pets. Either way.

So in case you think you might be the one who can tame me....think again.

You've been warned.

Nini boys...

JJ

No balls were busted in the making of this post. A few, however, fell off all on their own.

ROTFLMAO!! OMG! that was sooooo fun to write! hahahah!

Wow...just....wow

I wrote a post late last night after feeling a bit sad and a bit angry. Then thot better of it and deleted it.

In the meantime, I received a really nice comment. So, I'm posting it here. Thanks London!

hugz!

JJ

The word "no"

I have to admit....I hate the word 'no'...especially when I'm saying it to something I might actually on some level want to say 'yes' to.

After being in an SL relationship for over a year and it ending not too long ago, I have decided not to get into one again for a while, if ever. At first, it was difficult. I missed having someone to share things with, shop with, be silly with, gossip with, be romantic with, hold, share dreams with...and all that other crap couples do. (bitter much? LOL) But within a few weeks, I was enjoying my time to myself. I liked doing what I wanted when I wanted. Going where I wanted with whomever....not being grilled about where I'd been or what I was doing.

Today was not the best day for me as far as missing "him" goes. It wasn't bad exactly. I just felt kind of sad off and on. I know the feeling will pass and I'll be back to having fun again soon enough. But the pain reminds me how attached I get to people...in RL and in SL. And how painful it feels when they are no longer around. That's just how I am. When I love someone, I love deeply and for a long time...even if they aren't part of my SLife or life anymore.

Because of that, I've been called 'dramatic' and 'sensitive' and a lot of other words that mean I'm sort of emo, I guess. Whatever. I'm just me and this is how I am. But because I know this, I have become very cautious of who I let in. Even when every part of me might want to get to know someone better or take the chance on having something more than friendship in SL, I just can't do it. I guess you could say I'm just not ready...but I think it's more than that. The thought of going through that again. I dunno. Silly isn't it?

So I'm just a big flirt and I love having fun. But that is as far as it's going to ever go with me. My friends say there is one person out there that will come back again and again no matter how many times I push them away. And that person will be the one. I honestly hope that person doesn't exist.

Night all...have a wonderful week!

Joonie

Nothing of substance here!

haha..this pic makes me laugh. i dunno.

anyway, this awesome dress, called Mimi, was in one of the RFL vendors at the Clothing Fair.

Sorry, I don't remember which vendor. But I promise to look tomorrow when I'm ingame and blog it here. But I do absolutely love it. It's soo...girlie!

(edit: this dress is by Shelly Toonie of Moonshine Designs - the link at RFL)

It's also available at her main store - Moonshine Designs @ Silver Lake

it comes in Haze (shown) and a pretty blue.

Hope everyone had a fun night tonight. I logged off kind of early...feeling kind of vaguely melancholy. Ever feel that way? ...for no reason to speak of.

It seems my short-lived gig with JoyKat Productions is coming to an end as kat is feeling a bit overwhelmed with her RL obligations. whatever...lol! Anyway, I'm a little bummed cos I was really enjoying it. It kept me busy and I got to listen to awesome live music in SL. It all

ends on April 1 so come hang out with me til then!

There are a few more things going on in my SL that I don't want to jinx by talking about it. LOL

Tomorrow I will spend most of the day putting together some pics and writing a blog post to submit. I'll keep you posted. I'm really excited about it.

I have met some really awesome guys lately. Absolutely nothing wrong with any of them as far as I can tell. Some are kind of young (can you say babies?) and some are exploring "other" things that I'm not interested in. All of them are very hot, smart, fun, romantic. But I'm just unable to give myself over to any of it. I've practically stopped dating. I think that's best for me. I just hate this but I've been so....so what....hmm...Well, all I can say is I just can't trust anyone. It's too bad. But I just don't see it happening in SL ever again. EVER...I just know it's not going to happen. I won't let it. And weirdly enough, I feel pretty good about that. My biggest fear is...

what's going to happen to all those formals I have in my inventory?

They must be moth-eaten by now!

You know what's really fun is doing things by myself that I'd normally not do without a guy. Like shopping. hahahaha!

This has to be the lamest blog post to date. Or maybe it's just not my year.

Thanks for reading!

You guys are the BEST!

such patient readers....luffz ya all!

*hugs*

JJ

Can't Go Back Now

Yesterday, when you were young,
Everything you needed done was done for you.
Now you do it on your own
But you find you're all alone,
What can you do?

You and me walk on
Cause you can't go back now.

You know there will be days when you're so tired that you can't take another step,
The night will have no stars and you'll think you've gone as far as you will ever get

But you and me walk on
Cause you can't go back now

And yeah, yeah, go where you want to go
Be what you want to be,
If you ever turn around,
you'll see me.

I can't really say why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
But in the end, the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself

And you and me walk on
Yeah you and me walk on
Cause you can't go back now
Walk on, walk on, walk on
You can't go back now

The Weepies
~~~~~~~~~~~~
All Good Things

All good things. (All good things.)
All good things. (All good things.)

Not sure where to go,
Everybody I know,
Says I'm too forgiving.
And now that I'm gone,
I don't wanna move on,
I just keep reliving.

All good things. (All good things.)
Oh I wish you,
All good things. (All good things.)
Come to an end.
All good things. (All good things.)
Oh I wish you well.

Lost inside of my head,
Empty side of the bed,
I feel this place without you.
I keep pushing the bruise,
'Cause I don't want to lose, What I love about you.

All good things. (All good things.)
Oh I wish you,
All good things. (All good things.)
Come to an end.
All good things. (All good things.)
Oh I wish you well...

I could think of a million ways,
You've proved you're not the one.
So live inside of your shades of gray,
And nevermind the sunshine that I'll find.

I got so much space now,
I got a whole house,
With the wind blowing through.
I don't need somewhere to hide, I got this whole world inside,
I was accustomed to showing you.

All good things. (All good things.)
Oh I wish you,
All good things. (All good things.)
Come to an end.
All good things. (All good things.)
Oh I wish you well...
All good things. (All good things.)
Ohhhh, ohh, ohh
All good things. (All good things.)
Ohh, ohh, ohh
All good things. (All good things.)
Oh I wish you well.

The Weepies - All Good Things
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Music. I love music. All kinds really. It amazes me how it has the ability to lift me up and tear me down. It's not just the melody, although that certainly contributes to the overall effect, but the words. Sometimes I want to say something and I just don't know how to put it into words. And then a song is played and I'm like...That's it!! That's it!!

I wish I was better able to communicate my feelings to you..to others..without having to post song lyrics. But hey...why rewrite perfection. =)

I also go on jags where I listen to one musician over all others for a while. Like John Mayer or now, the Weepies. Love their melancholy sound and harmony. It's not really slit your wrist music/lyrics, but just enough introspection to make it touch my heart and head....and feel that sadness well up inside me. Sometimes I need music to get to it. I work hard to keep the wall up, to deny my feelings. They can be too painful to acknowledge. I'm sure you all know what I mean.

But the music helps me get them out and then I'm more able to move on. I wonder if this makes sense to anyone but me. Maybe I'm just weird. *giggles*

Hugs
JJ

Crushes

I love having crushes! They're so FUN! That's all I have to say.

LOL

JJ

ok ok...no I won't tell who it is. but I will point out that I said "crusheS" not "a crush" so there are several going on at one time. Who knows, it could by YOU. ;-)

I Love...

Today I love Plurk. I reeeeaally reeeeaally do. A few days ago...not so much. In fact, I had almost decided since I hit Nirvana and I'm still the same me, I was just gonna leave. But yesterday and today were really great there. So why is that?

Well, apart from ego cos ppl plurked me..LOL...I would have to say I found some use for it. First, I want to replace my PC with a laptop and I haven't a clue what to get. I know I want 4gb and I want an awesome vid card like maybe an Nvidia 9600 or 9800, but I don't know how reliable laptops are. I've read some things online and have heard good things about Gateway P7811 or 7805u, some Toshibas, Alienware, blah blah...but which is best?

So I decided to plurk and ask for help...and I got some GREAT responses from some ppl I respect. Someone even sent a link to a board that discussed laptops! Nirvana indeed! =)

Then, some relationship stuff happened in SL and I plurked about that a bit. Just letting go and how it sux even when you feel you are left with no choice. People plurked sweet, understanding things and also some great insight I want to share. I've deleted the names cos it's late and I forgot to ask if it was ok, but it helped me a lot and thot it might help some of you, as well. Note: it's in Plurkspeak...

"friend 1 says sometimes u drop them & they plummet to the rocks below. Sometimes they bounce. Sometimes they fly. If u really let go, u don't turn 2 look."

"friend 2 says think of it as giving yourself the gift of freedom."

What amazing insight! Srsly, I love that there are ppl out there who think like this. I was too busy being all emo and feeling sorry for myself! LOL But then, it was like, whoa...this could be a good thing!

Nothing against the parties involved at all. There had to be some awesomeness about them or I wouldn't have enjoyed things with them as long as I did. Sometimes, we just grow in different directions. The love is still there, but for whatever reasons, it either isn't returned or other things have taken priority...and it's time to go.

Recently, in SL, I have been single. That in itself is no big deal. Well, if you knew me, you would realize that it really is! LOL Like the song says..."you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love..." That's me. When one ended, I'd turn around and yell "next" pretty immediately. But this time, I promised myself I would not do that. This time, I'm chillin' and having fun and when I start to feel that feeeeeeeeeeling, I run like a crazed chica! haha!

And the weird thing is, I'm having a hella blast! Srsly! I'm working in SL for the first time, after saying I would NEVER work in SL, doing something I love. Tonight, another opportunity knocked on my door. I'm really enjoying SL again after coming so close to checking outta there.

All this is to say, I would never recommend letting someone or something go out of your life without much thought and prayer. But sometimes, it's just not a good fit anymore. At the risk of sounding selfish, if it doesn't bring you joy any longer, why do it? If every time you spoke to xyz you felt sad or hurt or mad or just icky...why continue? If someone doesn't want to be with us, no matter what they might say, buh bye. Actions baby..it's all in the actions. Not the words.

So tonight I am celebrating Plurky goodness. I'm not sure if what I let go of will crash and burn or bounce or fly. But if I'm really letting go, as friend 1 stated, I won't look back to find out. I'll just know.

For now, I'm giving myself the freedom to find better friends and better times, and hope I can do better at both myself.

Nite all...happy happy joy joy!

Joonie

Crushes

Texas Homesick Blues

Everytime I start to write a post about some things I have on my mind, something happens in SL that diverts my attention away from my original intent and off I go...chasing bunnehs down the rabbit hole.

Tonight, I had every intention of writing about feeling homesick lately for my home state of Texas. I never thought I would say that. Other than Austin and the hill country...well and Big Bend and a few other places, I couldn't wait to get out of there. I hated it!

But .... i've been missing it lately. Hence, the crazy music.

So off I went to Texas in SL to take a few snaps. Even bought these boots and found this hair in my inventory (thanks to a plurker who remembered the name - ETD Willis) and found this shirt in my inventory, too. (Callie Cline.) Not sure you can see my boots but they're Callie Cline, too. I love them!

Anyway, I'm minding my own biz when I get an IM from a friend. She asks what I'm doing, I tell her, and thought how much more fun it would be with her there. So I send her a TP. That's when things began to get....erm....interesting? Strange? Bizarre? Crazy?

uh huh

I got one halfway decent? serious pic when she breaks this thing out!

That's right...it's a shooting penis...with sperm.

It wasn't long after that this guy shows up.

His title was Atty General of Texas. That's right...we were

about to get thrown in the slammer. And in Texas, that is one

place you do NOT want to be! (I guess you wouldn't want to be in jail no matter where you were..but in Texas...pray for death! And don't pick up the soap!)

I'm going to have to go back there. The Rotunda of the capital building is

really awesome and is amazingly similar to the real thing.

Luckily, Mr. Atty General, Jacon Cortes, was feeling a bit

festive (as festive as Attys General come..erm...no pun intended) and let us

off with a warning.

Couldn't leave without a pic of my fave Governor of Texas,

Ann Richards.

I guess that serious, reflective blog post will have to wait for another night.

Just doesn't seem right after shooting penis' to write anything somber.

LOL

Nite all!

Viva la Alamo!

(i think we lost, tho. but we went on to kick butt!)

Woooohoooo.....TEXAS!

ya'll come back now, ya hear?

=)

JJ

Oh look...what was that??

Ok, I'm trying to remain calm.
See? calm...veeeeery calm..ommmmmm!


Today I was diagnosed with ADHD..whatever in the hell that is.
Isn't that what little kids have when they behave badly in school?
I dunno....

What?
Oh look...I can jump on this bed!

Wait..what's that....

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_adult_symptoms.htm

yep, sounds like me....

"....ADD / ADHD can put a strain on your relationships. The chaos that surrounds the disorder is particularly hard on romantic relationships." Noooooo...reaaaally? LMAO!

*sigh*
how did this happen?

JJ

I Hate it!

Daylight savings time that is. Just wanted to make sure everyone knew where I stood on this volatile issue.

p.s. I'm going to go to sleep now or at least try altho really it's only 10:30pm and when I wake up, it's going to be dark outside. Just sayin'.....sux!

nite all..have a great week!

JoJo

Over My Head

Lyrics to Over My Head (Cable Car) :

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows
She's on your mind
Everyone knows
I'm in over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm in over...
Everyone knows
I'm inOver my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's
on
your
mind

What Stage Are YOU in?

I love the SL Revolution blog 89% of the time. LOL! I dunno...really...but I luffz it a LOT! So when I saw that there was a new blog post before logging out for the night, I had to go read it, of course.

And I'm glad I did. Not for it's editorial journalism or necessarily stunning insights, but because it confirmed for me exactly what I had been wondering about.

I am in Stage 5 fast approaching Stage 6. I dunno why I even log in. It's more out of habit, I believe, than anything.

I find myself trying new things, buying new land, new houses, new ... well, you know...but nothing is doing it for me anymore. *le sigh* I see the day approaching when I will no longer
be a resident of SL. Maybe a visitor.

Today was like Spring where I live. I walked my doggy and just enjoyed the breeze. Noticed the birds are noisy and there were bunnehs...REAL ONES....in the neighbors yard. I'm loving my RL now.

I did a bit of Spring cleaning to my SL inventory and deleted some photos that were hard to look at but needed to go. Wiped out some things I've carried around with me for a long time. And I don't even want to get on the topic of my friend's list. Most of those ppl I never talk to.

So I think I see a burial in sight soon. Sims2 is sounding better and better all the time. hahaha!

Sweet dreams everyone. Thanks for the blog post, Prad. I'm not sure how to handle Stage 6. I guess just like I handled the others...go with it and see where it takes me.

JJ

Tableau...whoa!

My love for Tableau is no secret. I have lurked there for a several years now. And altho the

creative group of artists that reside there try to act like they don't know me....we're really a close-knit family. uh huh!

So come with me, and see the REAL Tableau that only a true "SLinsider" can show you.

You won't be sorry.....or will you?

bwhahahahahaha!

~~~~~

So here is the lovely sim of Tableau at sunrise.

Lovely, isn't it?

But what evil lurks here....let's find out!

Ahh yes..tranquility...flowers...poems and prayers..erm..and promises??

of hopes and dreams. All very nice. There are some fun and lovely poses

here. Be sure to check them out!

This pose is awesome. You MUST sit here. If you're having a bad day

or just feel like being silly..come listen to the flowers!

(this all lulls you into a sense of peace and serenity...but watch out!)

And here, at the Lunar Bar, things begin to get a little strange, but we shrug and think...

oh this is just fun...and it IS! Be sure to hop on the stage and

karaoke, but first grap your bubbling pipe and fruity drink!

Good luck finding this place. But you KNEW there had to be one!

Enough sight-seeing...let's shop, shall we?

This is our first big clue that there are some demented minds

at work here. The doors don't really work. Exit? bwahaha!

And what's a donkey doing here? Must be a throwback to

some other time! Or is he the way out?

Ok, now we're a little concerned.

What is this thing? A Glue -o- tron? Is this how they make

hair here? We know it's close to

Easter, but a sacrificial lamb seems a bit....

Let's get out of here!

OMG..what room have I stumbled into now?

What are they wearing? MEAT?

How disgusting! And where did that come from?

Ewwwwww.....be careful looking behind closed doors!

We need a good stiff.....butt roast?

Pinky leaves in disgust and who can blame her!

Me? I stick around a bit.

I'm glad I did...I found this lovely patio roof to

enjoy my bubble pipe and watch the sun come up.

It's all so beautiful up here.

The air is nice and crisp and smells of lilacs and lavendar.

I'm sure I just imagined the .... the....the... what?

Isn't this lovely!?

~~~~

Be sure to visit. You won't be sorry.

And while you're there, be sure to check out all the funky and fabulous shops.

(For more fashion related info on Tableau, click here!)

If you need help, just look for me...I'll be there stalking..erm shopping!

*tootles*

JJ

Maybe it's the Full Moon

"Gotta Have You"

Gray, quiet and tired and mean

Picking at a worried seam

I try to make you mad at me over the phone.

Red eyes and fire and signs

I'm taken by a nursery rhyme

I want to make a ray of sunshine and never leave home

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying

No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine

No, nothing else will do

I've gotta have you, I've gotta have you.

The road gets cold, there's no spring in the middle this year

I'm the new chicken clucking open hearts and ears

Oh, such a prima donna, sorry for myself

But green, it is also summer

And I won't be warm till I'm lying in your arms

I see it all through a telescope: guitar, suitcase, and a warm coat

Lying in the back of the blue boat, humming a tune...

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
No, nothing else will do
I've gotta have you, I've gotta have you.

~~~~~~~~~~~

JJ

Are you my Prince?

LMAO!
I have a crush!! On a FROG!
So no, Sands, he isn't blonde, he's GREEN!


He's really kind of cute....and has a looooong tongue!
WT....huh?

LOL
JJ

Late Night

It's late and I'm vewy sweepy...but I just had to come here and say....

I know some awesome, wonderful people. Tonight was fun spent with people

I care about in RL and then came home and spent time with people I care about

in SL. How cool is that!

In RL, I had dinner with someone I met in SL over 2 years ago. We have a long and

not so drama-free past, but tonight I met the person behind the ass...erm...avi..

and it was awesome! We ate sushi, he tried to to help me eat with chopsticks, and

agreed with me that I was totally inept at it. LOL Then after espresso and chocolate,

we hugged and said good night. It was an awesome experience.

Then home to SL and chatting and talking to some of my fave ppl. Was lucky enough

to be tp'd to a fun party at an AM Radio build. Thanks Go! I'll post pics later unless

I can find my second wind soon. Right now my eyes won't stay open.

I guess I wanted to share this because it was really fun and I've been so emo

lately. So if you're feeling down..hang in there! Things do get better.

nite all!

Joonie