Boys Don't Make Passes... 77/365

Well, apparently that's just not true. LOL Went to see my friend Rio's new skybox. Awesome btw...dunno who made it. Anyhoo, he had on these cool glasses I loved. I asked him to help me pick some out,so he took me shopping!

 Here's Joonie with her new glasses on. I'm undecided. Hot? or Not?

Nini
JJ

Hair: Truth Reese
Skin: LAQ Imani
Eyes: Beauty Avatar(now Glam Affair)Diamante
Glasses: *December* Glasses 35
Dress: Four Yip Charley Girlie Outfit(free)
Boots: Shiny Things Biker Boots (red)

Potting Shed: Second Spaces

Avatars United...wtf

Something insane is going on over at Avatar's United! I don't know who's responsible, but it's like bunneh sex. Avs all over the place. It's like plurk on crack.

I joined Avatars United quite a while ago and then promptly forgot about it. Now it's where I spend a lot of my online time.

Go check it out. It has everything all in one place. Blogging, groups, and best of all, friends. Although some people on my friends list I've never spoken to. *shrugs* Maybe now I will. =)

Maybe I'll see YOU there! ;) Click below to check it out.

Avatars United

and add me!

JJ

Purple Thoughts 76/365

I just thought this had potential so here it is.

I'm not sure what I was wearing. I know it's Truth hair, one of the new releases. And, of course, it's Curio skin,
Elf. The dress is...um...pretty? And it's also from Evie's Closet. The dress is called RFL Saiyge's Gown.

 

*mwah*
Have an awesome evening!

JJ

SLife is But a Dream.... 75/365

Sometimes my SLife feels like a dream. Sometimes I can take it too seriously and it feels like a nightmare. Lately, it's been pretty dreamy. =)

Nini
JJ

Flower Girl 74/365

I am so sick of Winter, it's freezing here for the bejillioned day in a row. And not pretty, blue sky like in the Rockies but grey dreary sky like only the stupid Midwest can provide. (My apologies to all you midwesterners out there.) So virtual Joonie decided to do some gardening around her house. Viola! Spring!

And the best thing of all? No nails were broken in the making of this post. And yes, this is Joonie's gardening outfit. =)

Happy Almost Spring!
JJ

Style Stuff:

Hair - Truth Reese
Skin - Curio Elf (I rarely take this skin off)
Top - *Conners* tunic - batik green
Skirt - S b S Dirty Diana
Shoes - Maitreya Slinky Stilettos
Earrings - EarthStones Harmony Ball earrings

Passionate Emo 73/365

Is there such a thing? Sometimes, for me, dark emo is the only way to go. LOL But this time, I'm not really feeling emo at all. I am listening to Evanescence, tho. Anyway, more fun photos with Joonie. I AM going to make that 365 goal!

Thanks to my friend, Rik, for posing with me.

JJ

SLife in a Bubble 72/365

nini
JJ

My Apologies 71/365

I've been so frazzled lately that I have been a terrible blogger. I know you expect the VERY BEST from me, and I hate to post when I know it's going to be .... um....well, when my head just isn't into it. So I'll leave you with this and hope for better things soon.

You want me, doncha!

JJ

A Day in the SLife 70/365

Haven't felt much like blogging lately. Needed some down time....and I do mean doooown. I tend to not want to blog lately when that happens. Just wait til I get to the other side, which I always do. Nothing lasts forever and that goes for the good stuff and the bad stuff...and the in between stuff. LOL

Anyway, nothing like being with a friend through the tough times. And nothing like being with a friend who helps you work your way out of that funky mood. =)

Hope this made sense. I'm soooo sweeeepy!
Night everyone!

JJ

Levels of Trust in SL

In a post I wrote earlier, I shared a link to a post mainly about trust and distrust in SL. It resonated with me on a personal level, having gone down that road at some point in my SLife. I've shared those thoughts and feelings with you, my awesome readers, and many of you shared your own experiences. I appreciate that because I think those emotions are a shared experience many, many of us have had at some point. It forced me to reevaluate my time in SL and decide what it is I really want there.

Yesterday, I read another post looking at things from a totally different perspective. This person had opened up to another avatar/person in a very deep, personal way. She shares her grief concerning his RL death in this post. I instantly felt deep compassion and empathy. I tried to imagine what that must feel like. She shares her experience with talking to the family. It's a very moving post.

It made me think of the ways we all are in SL. Is it time in SL that moves us from one position to another concerning trust and mistrust? Or is it our personality types? Do some people just naturally trust more than others? I think those of us that are older than the twentysomethings may have experienced more loss. Not always, of course. Loss comes at any time. I'm just saying the longer we're here, the more opportunity for loss.

This is not a black or white issue. There are definite shades of grey. Trust is not easily given for me; it must be earned over time. I think most of us can read both posts and have them resonate with us. One questioning trust and the other experiencing loss after forming a meaningful relationship in SL, which required trust. But I don't think they are mutually exclusive.

I'd like to thank both authors for sharing their experiences. It helped me see that both can exist together, but that trust, love, and friendship are far better. But we have to work out that little issue of trust. Have to let the walls down in order to have an awesome friendship. And it takes time.

I trust we will be fearless and cautious in those endeavors. Afterall, it is our hearts that are at stake.
Thanks for reading.
JJ

Exhaustion 69/365

I am exhausted. My SL is insanely busy....and I'm loving it. But I miss having alone time in SL. I know it's like a social networking thing, but sometimes I just need to explore, alone. Shop...alone. Does that make sense? Or as Kellee said...I'm just a loner! Accept it!

Right now, Joonie is one exhausted loner chica. That means, for another day, the land and house she recently purchased will go another day bereft of gardening and furniture. If I had a bed, I'd go climb in it. But all the furniture Joonie has is this little stool. And that's okay for now.

nini all

JJ

SL Friends

I don't have much time atm...but just read this and wanted to share it. Funny thing is, I was just talking to someone about this earlier. What do you think?

Friends?

Later with pics, I hope!

JJ

Greenie Love 68/365

Today was like any other day in SL, exploring, shopping, and decorating. Then I got an IM from a friend. He reminded me that we never made it to the Greenies. TBH, I wasn't all that interested. I visited the Greenie sim when it first opened in SL, and although I love it, I felt like I had already seen all there was to see there.
But he was right, we had planned on going there and the last time we tried, one of us had RL stuff to take care of. So off we went for an innocent little excursion, when....well....I got engaged!!

OMG I love my ring. But I'm not engaged to the guy below. He was just an innocent(?) bystander caught up in the moment. He's cute, huh..but has nothing to do with this post.

oh...hi. Sorry....don't know why he's in here twice. mmmm.....anyway. I'm not qutie sure who proposed to me. I feel certain it was a Greenie, but there are so many of them running around. Maybe I can figure it out.

Hmmm....this guy looks familiar but I certainly hope it's not him!! One addiction per family, please.

um...ditto. The Greenies seem to have some bad addictions going on.

This one seems mean but at least he has something on the brain....like mouse stew maybe.

Well, it could be worse than being a neat freak. I could use this guy at my house. But sadly, I don't think it's him either! 

Now this is an addiction I can sink my teeth into! HoOooOooo! But it's not any of these guys, either.

GAH! Now ciggies? Who knew the Greenies were so dependent on substances to get them through the night!

Oh finally! An artist/writer type. What's he writing? Looks like a bunch of scribbles! Like my art! But not like my fiance.

Okay, I can relate to this guy, But he's probably always laying on the couch rocking to his iPod when I need him to do some chores around the house. pfft...who needs that!? My guy needs to be able to do some heavy lifting. Wha?  No not ME! chores and stuff.  Geeesh...

I sure hope it's not this one!  I'm too young to be a widow!

\

Oh nuuuuu....it was this one all along! Well, at least this one's addition is affordable.

It's so nice to be engaged again. Thanks for all the well wishes! Gotta run....Office Depot is my new

Wal-mart! I think I better stock up this time. I wonder if he'd like the new pens or stick with the liquid kind.  Hmmmm......be right back! haha

I wonder how many lindens I could get for this ring on the black market? hmmmmm.....??

If you have never been to the Greenies home or haven't been for a while, go check it out! It's still a lot of fun and new things have been added.  Click here for the LM to the Greenies!

;)
JJ

Not All Who Wander are Lost 67/365

I love my new home. I love my new tat. I don't love the emtional roller-coaster SL sometimes deals all of us. But I continue to return there. I realize I am not the only one who has felt pain and sorrow in SL, but I'm also not the only one who has felt the joy of love, of meeting people who restore your faith in all of us, the awe of amazing creativity and the laughter of fun shared. I wish all of these things to all of you. And if you find your heart breaking.....just know that this too shall pass. =D I promise. Surround yourself with good friends and you will never feel alone. Even better, learn to depend on yourself and whatever you believe in. You will truly never be alone even when there is no one around.

Love you guys...thanks for reading! JJ

Pilgrim75 Swashbuckler (Pete Mroz)

See this guy? His name is Pilgrim75 Swashbuckler. He's an SL musician. I know what you're thinking...who ISN'T an SL musician. But this guy is the real deal. Writes his own music, voice of an angel, licks on that guitar that make you want to laugh and cry. He is one of the best in SL. If you have a chance, join his group (The Pilgrim Wagon) so you know when he's playing or contact Jemma Bonne, his SL manager. Then go check him out. You owe it to yourself, you really do.

On top of being an excellent musician, you get the sense that Pete is an amazing, loving, and funny guy. What are you waiting on?? Get thee to a Pilgrim show!

see ya there!
JJ

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Street? 66/365

To get to the other side. (old joke...no really...very old. but there's a reason for it, honest!)

See, I love bridges. This is me standing on one at my new home. (yep, another story for another time..LOL) But I doooo love them. They are metaphors, in a way, for when you want to leave one situation and go to a different one, even when you aren't quite ready yet. The bridge connects the two, but staying on the bridge until I'm ready is not, for me, a bad thing. While there I can think about what went "wrong" at the previous location and can hopefully take what I've learned into the next place. But the bridge...ahhh...the bridge. What a wonderful place to be. I find I'm in too much of a hurry to get from one thing/place/person to the next. I think I'll stay on the bridge for a while. Think about what I've learned and where I want to go from here. And take care of myself better. Thanks for reading! *hugs* See ya on the other side of the street...after the bridge, of course! =D

JJ

Serving of Cute with a Side of Silly 65/365

My SL has been waaaaay too serious. You know what that means! Nuuuuu...not leaving! I've been in SL longer than you, bish. imma not goin....

But I am all about Silly! When things get too serious and I'm not enjoying SL anymore, I roam the grid looking for silly! Gotta laugh to keep from crying sometimes. In this case, we are laughing so hard we were crying! The good kind.

JJ and Pinky doing what they do best.
ni ni
JJ

REEK ROCKS
Check it out! Lots of silly things!

Tableau Has Reopened 64/365

This is actually old news. Yes, all of our faves are there, including a new line from Paper Couture. But the one of the most interesting places on the sim is below:

The Taxidermy Cabin

Lots of interesting things on the walls.

Go see for yourself!
Tableau

Fear and Loathing in Second Life 63/365

Fear:

1. A painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation of evil, or the
apprehension of impending danger; apprehension; anxiety; solicitude; alarm;
dread.^ The degrees of this passion, beginning with the most moderate, may be
thus expressed, -- apprehension, fear, dread, fright, terror. "Fear is an
uneasiness of the mind, upon the thought of future danger likely to befall us."
Locke. "Where no hope is left, is left no fear." Milton

"This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an evil and corroding
thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion
trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve.
But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear should
be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble." Alcoholics Anonymous

Fear is just another four letter word. It has interrupted my life, made me pass up opportunities, and kept me shut off from the world. Fear sux to be honest. There may be an issue or real memory of something that happened in the past that causes us to be afraid now, but it is a soul sucking emotion.

I'm not talking about fear of snakes or the threat of real harm. I'm talking about making choices out of fear based on something that has happened in the past. Shutting down to opportunities for love, or advancement, or whatever. Fear of failure, of success, of being hurt. So instead of taking the "risk" we turn down the opportunities, we walk away from love before it can hurt us.

When I joined Second Life, I was happy in my RL. I had a job I loved, I was in a long-term relationship with someone who loved me. I had everything I needed and a lot of what I wanted. I wouldn't say every day was a holiday, but I felt pretty content with my life.

Second Life offered me an opportunity to meet people from all over the world....to learn new things about their culture and beliefs. It broadened my scope of understanding and, I think, because of that, it made me a better person.

I loved exploring places and learning about them. I discovered the art scene and became amazed at the images and magic of all the artist and their visions. I discovered music from around the world and slowly gravitated to the music I loved most. I met amazing people and loved Second Life with a passion.

Then it happened as it inevitably does for most of us. I met a boy. I've gone over that part of my SL experience ad naseum, so I won't do that here. Just know it was much like every SL relationship, just insert different names. But for me, atm, I was totally entranced. Was it boredom in my RL relationship that lead me to fall in love in SL? I don't know. I've gone over that question and many more over the years. I don't know. It's probably several things. But fall I did...and hard. When it ended, as it had to because I wasn't willing to give up my RL, I was devasted. My life had ended. And in a way, it had. Second Life had become my life.

So what am I working towards? I'm sure some of you know where I'm going with this. But just in case, for those of you who don't...lol...I fell again. This time was totally different. I gave everything to this guy. And it blew up on me. I was hurt and furious. I felt all the emotions all of you have when something ends out of your control. Stupid, why me, blaming myself, blaming him, blaming Second Life, the Universe, God (if there was one which I was beginning to doubt.)  How could this happen to me? I was smart! Funny! Cute! What was wrong with him?  Blah Blah Blah

After about 8 months, I began to move forward. Starting making new friends, getting involved in things and not caring if I ever had another SL relationship. In fact, not wanting to. I was having so much fun! It was like discovering SL all over again. And then....you guessed it.....boys!

I met some amazing guys! Talented, funny, intelligent, and hot, of course. Many of them I had an instant connection to. Others had been friends for a long time. We would talk and flirt and dance and .....then I would run. I just couldn't do it. About this time, I was offered some opportunities in SL. Some were very appealing...things I could only dream about doing.

What did I do? I ran. I turned them down. Made up some crap about being too busy in my RL or just disappearing. And love? Forget it! It was fun if I was just flirting, but if it looked like it could go further than that....I was out of there! I would try by saying I wasn't ready and needed to take things slooooooow. But what I really meant was...I'm really enjoying this and developing feelings for you, but because I have been hurt in the past, I'm too scared to ever do this again. So I sent mega mixed signals. And eventually lost contact with some of the most awesome guys.

Fear. Wow...just wow. It's so strong of an emotion. Keeps me paralyzed, unable to move forward. And the real pisser is, it's all based on past experiences that, however painful, are keeping me from living my life now and is effecting my future. The new year, altho I haven't really made any resolutions, has given me an opportunity to look back and see things I want to change about myself. The fear when it comes to relationships is so strong, so much a part of me, that I don't know if I can ever successfully have another SL relationship or even want to. I dunno. Friendship? Most definitely! Fun? I'm all over that! But to give myself over to the emotions and just see where they lead me? I'm afraid of that. But that is living life safely rather than passionately. And I've never been that person. Going forward, I'd like to return to the Joonie I know and love. Passionate. Unafraid. Loving Life....in all forms.

JJ

Paranoid 62/365

Sometimes, I just want a little peace and quiet to myself.







But I always get the feeling someone is watching me......

Taken at the Companion Props and Poses

Not Ready

Imagining It
by Kate Barnes


At eighteen, in Paris,

I just woke up out of a dream

just before dawn, and stepped through the long window

from my cold room with its red silk walls.

Shivering a little in my dressing gown,

I leaned on the balustrade

and, look, overnight a light snow had fallen;

no car had driven over it yet, it lay in the street

as white, as innocent, as snow on the open fields.

Then something approached with a calm rhythm

of hoof-beats made softer by the snow, the sound

of a quiet heart. It was a heaped-up wood cart

pulled by a gray horse who walked along slowly,

head down, while the driver

sat at the back of one shaft and hunched over

to light his cigarette.

From above, I saw clearly

the lit match in the old man's cupped hands, its glow

on his long jaw, the small well of flame

between his living palms like the flare

of the soul in his body. He went on

down the street, and the sky went on

growing lighter, and I saw how he left

his dark tracks behind him on the whiteness

of the snow, just the lines of the two wheels,

slightly wavering, and the dints of the horse's hooves

between them, a writing in an undiscovered

language, something whose meaning

we feel sure we know, and still can't quite

translate.

When I stepped inside again,

I stopped thinking about love for a minute — I thought about it

almost all the time then — and thought instead

about being alive for a while in a world

with cobblestones, new snow, and the unconscious

poem printed by hooves on the maiden street.

Of course I was not yet ready to be grateful.

Once in a Blue Moon 61/365

Fear. That's the next topic I'll blog...I think. LOL But tonight imma celebrate the Full Moon and be grateful for what I have.

I'm so glad I have met the people I have. Each of you have taught me lessons I'll never forget. *Now get the f*** outta my 2010. Thank you.

*Added because it just felt right at the time..like a punchline I couldn't pass up, ya know? But not what I wanted to say.

Hindsight and all that.....